Claim Your Own Mental Fitness

Letting Go for the New Year, Part 2

…with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know…what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe… Ephesians 1:18-19 Letting go for Christians involves the eyes of our hearts enlightened. I believe that mental fitness can allow us to find the enlightenment in this. The Adult observing eye, well-connected with the inner being (“heart”) inside, can search for ways to decide how to approach the belief in a powerful God. First we must process through to resolution our grief over being human. This basic work of mental fitness results in a state of acceptance that includes […]

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Too Clever to Care

You can be too special to thrive, if the eleventh toxic belief quietly liberates your Child. You can be too clever to care, if the twelfth belief incites your Child to action. Belief # 12, that if you’re more clever than most people, it’s okay to find shortcuts around the frustrating rules in our society, can lead you to act without conscience. The rules of our communities are carefully developed to protect the rights and safety of all members. When you realize you’ve chosen not to follow one of these rules, your Adult should rein in your Child’s self-focused behavior, […]

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Too Special to Thrive

“Entitled generation: owed certain rights and benefits without further justification” Dictionary .com The definition above refers to the group of people born between 1979 and 1994. For us pre-baby-boomers, the word “spoiled” comes to mind. And for critics of Mr.(Fred) Rogers’ soothing programs for young kids, the key word is “special.” These terms are all used to describe people who are just too special to thrive, leaving the rest of us to take care of them indefinitely. In mental fitness terms, their Indulgent Parent allows their Child too much freedom. As noted in the previous blog on the ninth toxic […]

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26 Know Your Indulgent Parent

26 Know Your Indulgent Parent

A penny saved is a penny earned. Until now most blogs here have focused on your Critical Parent and the Toxic Beliefs that it holds. You must also get to know your Indulgent Parent, or suffer long-term consequences. Blog 21 described the see-saw mood swings you can experience if your Adult doesn’t balance these two Parent influences. Blog 22 refers to the most pervasive Indulgent Parent Toxic Belief, #9, that it’s more comfortable to avoid problems and responsibilities than to face them. To know your Indulgent Parent, you must gain deeper insight into your Child and how it takes control […]

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25 Put Your Mental Fitness House in Order

25 Put Your Mental Fitness House in Order

Sorting out your house for spring? Here’s how to put your mental fitness house in order. No fancy brain labels, just a scaffold to hang things on for ready access. This scaffold provides an overly brief description, but one that is easy to review and build upon. Referring to the previous blog, you could say that this scaffold forms the lantern for your candle. Let’s take each part from the top down. Whole Brain: includes everything above “Interpersonal Relating.” Child: activities listed below calm your child, drawing it out of fight-or-flight. Arrows denote how input from your Adult and Parent […]

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24 A Lantern for Your Candle

24 A Lantern for Your Candle

“When you see what’s wrong and you try to make it right, you will be a point of light.” Randy Travis This line from Randy Travis always brings me to tears. But wishing don’t make it so. First you must construct a lantern for your candle. This spark of inspiration and faith in yourself, like all fire, needs containment and guidance to become Travis’ point of light. Mrs. Fixit would say that the candle represents the unique set of skills and talents you have to fuel this light and your Adult must experiment with how to keep it lit. The […]

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21 Set Up by Your Indulgent Parent

21 Set Up by Your Indulgent Parent

A see-saw of self-indulgence  and self-punishment happens when you’re set up by your Indulgent Parent (IP). Your Critical Parent (CP) keeps you on a short leash so you can’t get into trouble, scolding your Child each time you fail to measure up to one of the six toxic beliefs your CP holds. Your Indulgent Parent soothes your child into a false sense of security as it supports the next six toxic beliefs. This whole process is explained in my book, Part I, Chapter 4. Let’s take the example of procrastination, the ninth toxic belief, that it’s more comfortable to avoid […]

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