Claim Your Own Mental Fitness

7-s Mental Fitness Promotes Compassion

7-s Mental Fitness Promotes Compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama     XIV, The Art of Happiness   The Dalai Lama has had to leave his homeland, while it is under siege by China, to protect himself from assassination. He certainly knows and loves the people there, who look to him for spiritual guidance and are greatly at risk because they follow the beliefs he teaches. Yet I don’t recall seeing a picture of him without a radiant smile. Christians are also taught to have compassion as they offer love to each […]

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20 Over-Personalizing by HSPs and All Humans

20 Over-Personalizing by HSPs and All Humans

Julia Frisbie, Dixie & Rea Elaine Aron, who has defined the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait, has recently sent word to her wide group of subscribers that she’s crowd-funding a video which will help both HSPs and those who know them understand more clearly how this trait affects HSP’s functioning. You can see a preview video “sizzle” online at “Sensitive, the untold story.” One characteristic Aron notes is that HSPs tend to “take things way too personally.” After working with hundreds of HSP clients (and myself) I can certainly vouch for what she says. What I’m calling over-personalizing plagues most […]

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6-sToxic Beliefs Block Your Joy

6-sToxic Beliefs Block Your Joy

“Judge not, that you be not judged.” “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” “You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  Matthew 7:1, 5:44, 22:39 Here Jesus, speaking to his apostles in the Bible, gives them these rules for coping with others. In the past fifty years behavioral scientists have, most often without realizing it, identified the problems caused when people don’t follow these rules. The first three toxic beliefs trigger us into fight-or-flight, creating emotional distress, impairment of our Adult’s ability to manage things and impulsive reactions which create barriers between us and others. […]

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19 Over-Personalizing Ignites Fight-or-Flight

19 Over-Personalizing Ignites Fight-or-Flight

Do you often feel like the only place you can find peace is one like this? The key factor omitted is other humans and all their triggers for fight-or-flight. While it’s wonderful to retreat to such an inspiring spot, peace can be found even when you’re among other people. Your Adult can learn to recognize the main problem, which is another Child Brain Habit. Here’s an example. Janet (all story names are fictional) sought counseling, after she and her husband divorced, for help with her troubled three-year-old son Winston. He had come to her one morning and sadly commented, “I’m […]

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17 The FORMULA for Social Comfort

17 The FORMULA for Social Comfort

It’s exciting to have so many people take an interest in my blogs! One comment particularly tugged at my heartstrings. The writer told how disappointed she felt as she read my blogs about my struggle as an HSP. She’d hoped I would be more functional than that, I gathered.  First, let me say that her feelings are echoed by many people who deal with others whose brains are different from theirs. In my book, Part II, chapter 1, I begin my discussion of emotional problems with a chapter on these different people.  Its 25 references give the reader much more […]

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7 Quick Handles on Fight-or-Flight

7 Quick Handles on Fight-or-Flight

This is a squirrel who knows how to handle fight-or-flight. Surely not all squirrels would be able to manage this elegant solution. How does she do it? First she sniffs that there are seeds for her lunch up in the tree. Then she goes up to get them, but evil plotters have designed a barrier so she won’t be able to have any. She could run away in disgust at any point, but she doesn’t resort to flight. She could get frustrated and angry and scold loudly about it, but she doesn’t. She just sits there calmly and considers what […]

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