Claim Your Own Mental Fitness

Letting Go for the New Year, Part 2

…with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know…what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe… Ephesians 1:18-19 Letting go for Christians involves the eyes of our hearts enlightened. I believe that mental fitness can allow us to find the enlightenment in this. The Adult observing eye, well-connected with the inner being (“heart”) inside, can search for ways to decide how to approach the belief in a powerful God. First we must process through to resolution our grief over being human. This basic work of mental fitness results in a state of acceptance that includes […]

Read more

14 Letting Go for the New Year, Part 1

Letting Go for the New Year, Part 1 I’m in favor of simplifying, even over-simplifying, in the service of getting a handle on things. The FORMULA is an example of this. Looking forward, I’ve focused my self-observation on how “letting go in the New Year” can happen in a big-picture way for me. In fact, as I think about this, I realize that I’ve been forced to let go over and over in my life. I seem to embrace the letting go strategy only as a last resort. This is both good and bad. I might gain character as I […]

Read more

12 Competing for Love

12 Competing for Love

When (God’s) love chooses, it chooses with a perfect sensitivity to the unique beauty of the chosen one, and it chooses without making anyone else feel excluded. Henri J. M. Nouwen Competing for love is a concept that probably dates back to prehistoric times when humanoids rightly feared death if they were excluded from their tribes because others won out in the struggle to demonstrate for strength, cleverness or beauty. While our brain evolved, ever-present danger may have helped to wire in the second Toxic Belief, that we have worth only if we compete successfully against others. This belief still […]

Read more

11 Wise Support for Your Adult

11 Wise Support for Your Adult

Ask, and it will be given you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7 The scaffold described in the previous Exploring the MF FORMULA blog #25 demonstrates how much your Adult is responsible for managing, both for your inner and outer worlds. Your pre-frontal cortex, where it resides, isn’t that big. Your Child and Parent parts can easily overwhelm it with fight-or-flight chemicals. Do consider reading my book, if you haven’t. It offers a step-by-step approach to this material that makes it easier to begin using. Without that background the scaffold may […]

Read more

9-s Reflect, Revise and Renew

9-s Reflect, Revise and Renew

Fake Fir (12/04) Always the scent of pine pitch In the chill night air, crushed out Of the carpet of needles lavishly strewn Over the corner tree lot. Always the hunt for the quintessential Tree-of-the year, just so tall, Just so irregular, just so fluffy. Often in the rain, always in the dark. Rebellion crept in slowly over the years, First, with fewer gifts mailed out, Then no more German Honey Bars, And last, the ultimate sacrilege. There it was on sale at McLendon’s: Frankly artificial and just the right size. Up a week earlier and not so prickly, With […]

Read more

8-s Mental Fitness Supports Christian Behavior

8-s Mental Fitness Supports Christian Behavior

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15 Mental fitness supports Christian behavior because it gives you the skills and understanding you need to carry out what Jesus taught. Prayer is calming and inspiring, but it doesn’t give you a concrete handle on how to manage your human brain. You need that to overcome the fight-or-flight impulses that block your connection with others. In blog 22, Be Assertive to Be Mentally Fit, I described how hard it was for […]

Read more

7-s Mental Fitness Promotes Compassion

7-s Mental Fitness Promotes Compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Dalai Lama     XIV, The Art of Happiness   The Dalai Lama has had to leave his homeland, while it is under siege by China, to protect himself from assassination. He certainly knows and loves the people there, who look to him for spiritual guidance and are greatly at risk because they follow the beliefs he teaches. Yet I don’t recall seeing a picture of him without a radiant smile. Christians are also taught to have compassion as they offer love to each […]

Read more

6-sToxic Beliefs Block Your Joy

6-sToxic Beliefs Block Your Joy

“Judge not, that you be not judged.” “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” “You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself.”  Matthew 7:1, 5:44, 22:39 Here Jesus, speaking to his apostles in the Bible, gives them these rules for coping with others. In the past fifty years behavioral scientists have, most often without realizing it, identified the problems caused when people don’t follow these rules. The first three toxic beliefs trigger us into fight-or-flight, creating emotional distress, impairment of our Adult’s ability to manage things and impulsive reactions which create barriers between us and others. […]

Read more

5-s Your Brain Is Not Your Soul

5-s Your Brain Is Not Your Soul

Jesus said to (Thomas), “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” John 20:29 One Christmas eve at age 45, I stood in a large circle of members in my church all holding candles in the semi-dark, and drew a little slip of paper from a basket that was passed around. Above was the quote from the Bible I received and it brought me to tears, as it still does today. Since then, through my clients I’ve seen things that make it impossible for me not to […]

Read more

4-s There Is a River

4-s There Is a River

5. Thus says the Lord:  Cursed are those who trust in mere mortals and make mere flesh their strength, whose hearts turn away from the Lord. 6. They shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when relief comes. They shall live in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.  7. Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.  8. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream, It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves shall […]

Read more
Follow

Get every new post on this blog delivered to your Inbox.

Join other followers: